Emotions are for boys too...we just need to teach them!
It is a tale as old as time. I am sure someone, somewhere, has said to you, 'Men just don't talk about their feelings!" But what if the real issue isn’t that boys won’t express emotions—what if it’s that they can’t?
Across classrooms, clubs, and kitchen tables, boys are often socialised to suppress their emotional expression. While some people will say this is a gender issue, it's probably safe to say that this is a wellbeing crisis in the making.
The good news? Just like every other skill, emotional literacy can be taught and boys are more open to it than you might think. It just needs to be delivered in a way that meets them where they are: active, curious, and craving connection.
Here are practical, evidence-informed strategies that work in school or home settings to expand boys' emotional vocabulary and deepen self-awareness.
1. Get the boys gaming
Emotion-themed games build confidence in recognising and naming feelings—without the awkwardness of direct conversation.
Feeling Charades – Act out emotions using exaggerated body language. This helps boys link words to physical expression.
Emotion Sorting – Use printable cards or apps like Zones of Regulation to sort feelings into categories: comfortable, uncomfortable, high-energy, low-energy.
"When Did You Last Feel…?" Dice Roll – Create a die with prompts like “When did you last feel proud?” or “angry?”, encouraging reflection in a playful way.
These activities transform emotional vocabulary into something boys can own, not avoid.
2. Pick the patterns in stories
Boys often relate more easily to characters than personal self-disclosure. Use stories—real or fictional—as mirrors and windows for emotional insight.
Picture books with emotional arcs (like The Invisible String or The Boy Who Built a Wall Around Himself) open up conversations about grief, loneliness, or fear.
Hero’s Journey discussions – Ask, “What was the hardest part for this character?” or “What emotion did he hide?”
Classroom or family storytelling time – Prompt boys to create their own stories about a character facing a challenge—emotions will follow.
According to the NCSE, “Developing emotional vocabulary through stories provides a powerful scaffold for empathy.”
3. Low-Pressure Journaling Prompts That Stick
This can be hard. Most children detest writing. Some boys absolutely hate it, unless it has a strong purpose behind it. However, journaling doesn’t have to mean long diary entries. Think short, consistent, and reflective.
“3-word check-in”: Every day, write down three emotions—no explanations needed.
Trigger prompts like “I felt ___ when…” or “Today I needed…” build expressive habits over time.
Use emojis or colour-coded feelings wheels for younger boys or neurodivergent learners.
Neuroscience backs this up: Labeling emotions reduces amygdala activity and helps boys regulate.
4. Expand emotional vocabulary with visuals
Many boys struggle with traditional "talk-based" strategies. Visual tools like emotion wheels, posters, or interactive apps give them a roadmap for language. Have a look at some printables from ELSA Support or BrightPaths
Use mood meters, emoji charts, or Inside Out character emotions
Pair visuals with movement: “Point to how you feel and jump to the next one you want to feel”
Why this matters
As outlined by Psychology Today, unexpressed emotion doesn’t disappear—it gets buried, distorted, or explodes later. Early emotional literacy:
Reduces aggression and withdrawal
Builds empathy and communication
Prepares boys to be healthier sons, brothers, teammates, and future partners
And yet, many boys don’t have the words. As one boy in a recent focus group put it:
“It’s not that I don’t feel things—I just never knew how to say it out loud.”
Final thoughts
Emotions are for boys, too. If we can teach them long division, we can teach them disappointment. If they can memorise stats, they can name sadness. What they need is consistent modelling, creative tools, and safe spaces to be seen.
Whether you're a teacher, parent, coach or just someone who cares this isn’t about fixing boys. It's about equipping them.
